Happy April Fool’s Day, Pittsburgh. To celebrate, here’s a list of the stories we won’t be running today:

  • 12 BuzzFeed articles about Pittsburgh we refuse to acknowledge
  • Kevin Sousa leaving Superior Motors to take over kitchen ops at The Squirrel Cage
  • Thrill Mill launches ‘Thrillionaire grants’ for start-ups looking to accelerate other start-ups
  • Conflict Kitchen to feature cuisines of Mineo’s, Aiello’s
  • Vendors go rogue, declare martial law on Public Market
    subhead: Ohio City Pasta believed holding three hostages
  • Google will launch spy satellites from new Bakery Square X development
  • Mt. Oliver residents raid, annex South Side Slopes
  • Peduto creates Transparency Department to investigate what he’s doing during time unaccounted for on daily public schedule
  • Las Palmas introduces seasonal tacos featuring Mt. Lebanon venison
  • Produce Terminal miffed that nobody cares what it thinks
    subhead: ‘Just do something already!’ cries 90-year-old building
  • Pothole living: the latest in urban housing innovation
  • Brew Gentlemen unveil Edgar Thomson Saison made from Monongahela river water
  • 5 Pittsburghers you’ve never met, but see around town all the time

Matthew Wein is a local writer, editor, blogger, storyteller and proud native Pittsburgher. Once described as "a man of things," he covers city design, spirits and craft beer for NEXT, where he keeps all of the editorial meetings light-hearted and interesting. His interests include sorting books, looking at old things and candles which smell like old-growth pine forests.