It was just a few weeks before Christmas 2017 when Kelly Ervin lost her sister, Heather Schwartz, to suicide.
Heather’s death had been discovered by her daughter, Jenna, 14 at the time, who called her aunt Kelly. Heather had recently been released from a mental healthcare facility with the support of her family.
“She was going through some heavy things,” says Ervin. “She was getting help, but she still chose this path. It was a very dark day for us all. It was very emotional. But I remember how angry I was too. But that way of thinking is not healthy to sustain in the grieving process.”
Ervin and her grandson, Zaeden, were respecting the grieving process at the Out of the Darkness suicide prevention walk at Chatham University on Sunday, April 7, as they have done every year since losing Heather. Wearing a “Heather’s Warriors” sweatshirt, Ervin joined the crowd as it moved through campus and down Fifth Avenue in Shadyside.
The suicide prevention walk is one of many held around the country by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. The foundation has held a walk at Chatham yearly since 2017 (except for those canceled because of the Covid-19 pandemic).
Students and community members gathered inside Mellon Hall and out on the patio waiting for the walk to begin. Volunteers handed out brain-shaped stress balls, safe drug disposal kits and semicolon temporary tattoos (a symbol of resilience for those who have faced mental health challenges). A table of multicolored beads and buttons corresponded with the person who had been lost, such as red beads for a spouse or partner; gold, a parent; orange, a sibling.
Though the event could have been sorrowful and morose, it was the opposite. An air of community, support and positivity was present on the warm and sunny day. Many donated money, while others opted to share fundraising links online beforehand, all in support of preventing suicide.
But what does suicide prevention look like, and how does raising money do that?
There are four key pillars: research, education, advocacy and support, says Jesse Putkoski, area director of the Western Pennsylvania branch of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
“We are trying to de-stigmatize talking about suicide, talking about our mental health because people think the more we talk about [suicide], the more it’s going to happen. And that’s not the case.”
In addition to walks, the organization holds Talk Saves Lives programs – one-hour presentations in schools, workplaces and community centers that teach people how to be proactive about mental healthcare. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention does not offer direct mental health counseling to those experiencing mental health crises, but connects those in need of assistance with resources. The “I’m looking for treatment” section of its website contains links to a variety of healthcare services.
“Whenever we have these walks, that’s what allows us to go into those communities and the schools and the campuses, to be able to put on those programs, because we don’t charge for any of our programs,” says Putkoski.
Putkoski became involved with the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention after losing her father, Gary, to suicide in 2010.
“My family and I still feel shocks from that [loss] and will continue to for the rest of our lives. This journey began through heartbreak, but it continues because of love. We are not alone in our losses or struggles. Let’s walk toward a day when no one dies by suicide.”
Research is also key to prevention. The foundation funds organizations and individuals, such as UPMC Western Psychiatric’s Dr. Tina Goldstein and Dr. Peter L. Franzen. Their study points to a link between poor sleep and increased thoughts of suicide among young people ages 14-24. Of that age group, suicide is the second most common cause of death after accidents.
Christina Nagy attended the Chatham walk in memory of her son, Jack, who died by suicide in 2016. He was 21.
“Part of me wants to say to ‘watch for the red flags,’ but there aren’t always signs. Just be there as much as you can,” she says.
Asking directly if someone is thinking about suicide can be most helpful, says Putkoski, and will not “put the idea in their head.” In fact, studies show the opposite is true.
“People are so afraid to ask the question, you know, ‘Are you thinking about taking your life?’ People often think, oh, if someone’s not thinking about it, and I ask that question, then all of a sudden they’re going to start thinking about it. And that’s not the case. It actually decreases the risk.”
Ashley Christian, a first year graduate student at Chatham, lost her best friend, Jim, to suicide in November 2021. He was 21.
“He would light up every room he was in,” says Christian, remembering her friend. “He meant so much to everyone in his life.”
Christian moved to Pittsburgh last August from Ruston, Louisiana. She has participated in Out of the Darkness walks in Louisiana and now Pittsburgh since losing Jim, and feels they are a way to remind herself how important he was to her.
“If I could say something to him now, it would just be that things will be better, even if he couldn’t see that yet.”
Grace Henry, an occupational therapy doctoral student and one of the organizers of the walk, says she is grateful that Chatham offers the space for the community to talk about such an important and far-reaching topic. Henry, whose aunt passed away from suicide, read a poem by Sylvan Kamens and Rabbi Jack Riemer to start the walk.
“When we have joy we crave to share
We remember them.
When we have decisions that are difficult to make
We remember them.
When we have achievements that are based on theirs
We remember them.
As long as we live, they too will live, for they are now a part of us as
We remember them.”
Resources
Those interviewed for this story recommend the following resources for individuals in need of mental health assistance or care:
- 9-8-8 crisis call or text line
- Resolve Crisis Services, call 1-888-796-8226. Walk-in crisis center located at 333 N. Braddock Ave.
- The Trevor Project, call 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678-678
The next Pittsburgh Out of the Darkness walk is Sept. 7 at Highmark Stadium.
